At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
