I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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