piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
