My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
