Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
