It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
