ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
