Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
