mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
