Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
They took my balls.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
