I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Michael Bay diarrhea
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
We are all done wearing pants today
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
