am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
