why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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