I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
