You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize