I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I love having hate sex.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
