the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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