For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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