the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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