Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
