Your face is a jimmy john
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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