I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
