**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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