She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
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