So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song