yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
