Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises