Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
