We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?