at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
