hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
