for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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