I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
