Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
