Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
