How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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