Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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