All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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