Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
