so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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