Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
