I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
