the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
