ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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