I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
