one two three fourrrrnication!
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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