My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
seriously i just wanna be friends
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he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
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