is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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