Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
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