Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Can I color on your dick again?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I think i got beer on your cat.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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