I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
