What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Randomize
