He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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