your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
