Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
