so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
We left the knife in your bed.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
My breasts were aching with rage.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
