so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
