they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
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