I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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