Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize