Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
