Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
